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December 16, 2025
Jim Arey braids a growing understanding of effective child maltreatment interventions with a tool he’s used in training to help educators navigate awkward conversations about possible neglect directly with families.
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The Coalition to Support Grieving Students developed a “tip card” that highlights simple things to say (and not say) to grieving students. As a facilitator in AFT’s professional learning on student trauma, I’ve seen firsthand that this resource boosts educators’ confidence when assisting children to cope with the loss of a loved one. In this blog, I aim to equip educators with a similar practical template on how to communicate effectively with caregivers (not just childhood protective services (CPS) hotline operators) about suspected child neglect.
I want the best for kids. That includes reducing harm and ending violence whenever possible. Unfortunately, reporting to CPS often accomplishes the opposite. 2025 marks my second year participating in the international “Call to Action to Change Child Welfare” conference with the Kempe Center. System-engaged families, child welfare workers, scholars and activists around the world have taught me:
Kempe is an incredible conference; it opens space for child welfare stakeholders to talk honestly about these harms, how to address them and how to innovate effective child protection that does not harm. Hearing about their visions and efforts motivates me, too. To change outcomes toward thriving and unified kids and families, we need to change our practices.
Discussing possible child neglect with caregivers can feel difficult. Educators are tasked with reporting suspicions to child protection authorities or a designated school official—and rarely supported in addressing caregivers directly. Many educators hesitate to address challenges with caregivers due to concerns about overstepping their role, lack of training in sensitive conversations or fear of worsening the situation for the child and the parent-teacher relationship. These concerns are valid and underscore the need for thoughtful guidance—because starting with families can “open our whole practice,” to paraphrase school social worker, Laura Glaub.[6]
System-engaged families are clear: They wish someone had spoken to them before taking concerns to an unknown government agent with the power to take their kids.[7]
I recommend these steps for talking directly with caregivers about concerns—and I break down each one below:
CPS agencies address child maltreatment, which includes physical abuse, sexual abuse and neglect. These tips are only for concerns about suspected neglect, such as observed challenges with attendance, emotional disconnection from parents, health, hunger, hygiene or supervision.[8]
Review policies. Start with state law, which may change faster than the common annual click-to-complete training. For example, you might find that your state only investigates reports that do not reflect poverty (about half of states use this exception).[9] You might also find requirements that must be met—such as evidence of school engagement before reporting attendance issues. Look at any district guidance relevant to the challenge identified. And consult an ethical decision-making framework that can inform critical thinking. “Reimagining Mandated Reporting,” a video from the Institute to Transform Child Protection, includes great questions, including:
Family engagement often best proceeds at the “speed of trust.”[10] Whether or not you report your concern, state laws do not preclude you from reaching out to families. Schedule dedicated time for the conversation to avoid rushed discussions.
Considerhow race, ethnicity and culture can drive distinct approaches to parenting, day-to-day routines, communication styles and family dynamics. Jot down questions that might open a dialogue with the family, rather than statements that lead to a one-way conversation.
It might also help to consult your supervisor, student services chair, community schools coordinator or other such colleague. Try to talk with colleague(s) who can make it easy to identify and share the relevant contacts and resources in your school community that may directly address the root cause of the concern. For instance:
Start with the heart and express that you’re reaching out with genuine care. State observations factually and describe the impacts you’ve noticed or anticipate. Invite clarification, perspective and more information. Acknowledge and honor any additional details the family decides to share. Collaborate toward solutions by identifying and agreeing on specific, measurable next steps—these could include reasonable accommodations, referrals or warm introductions to nonjudgmental helpers and even reporting together, if the conversation reveals serious and imminent harm. Offer relevant resources and end positively by reiterating your support and thanking the parents for their time and partnership. Let them know you'll be in touch.
Here is a sample conversation with a parent or guardian about a child’s body odor to help you get a feel for what to expect:
“Hello Mrs. Ahmad, I’d like to discuss something because I care about your child and our partnership. I know this may be a sensitive topic, but my goal is to support your family and help Mahbeer thrive. I’ve noticed Mahbeer has an unusual body odor. We work in small groups and students and I are close to one another. I never want someone not to work with Mahbeer due to a body odor issue. Overall, I don’t want this to negatively impact him or his relationships with his peers.
“Can you share your thoughts or any information that might help us understand?
“I have some ideas about how we can help in the classroom, but I'd really appreciate your thoughts and suggestions. You know Mahbeer best!
Thank you for your openness. I’m here to support you and Mahbeer. We can connect with our school nurse or other resources if needed.”
Document the conversation and outcomes, which may help in future dialogue with your team or direct supervisor. Plan to share just necessary facts with others, such as the information they need to take action. Practice confidentiality with any other aspects of the family’s life that may have been shared.
In further outreach to the caregiver, continue to offer support and resources. Sometimes, being a warm and welcoming presence in a stressed parent’s life is exactly the intervention to best promote well-being.
Educators and families share a crucial responsibility in fostering student well-being. Open, empathetic communication is key to addressing challenges effectively. When educators notice changes in a student's health or behavior, initiating a sensitive conversation with families can lead to supportive partnerships that benefit the child.
The AFT’s mandated support resources help school communities move beyond traditional reporting practices toward caring, trauma-aware approaches that prioritize student wellness and family resilience. Explore guidance, tools, and expert insights that empower every adult in a school to take compassionate, confident action when concerns arise.
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